Paws & Claws.

Why is the question “are you a cat person or a dog person” so revealing? I believe that finding out someone’s fluffy friend preference is more intimate than reading their diary. So much can be told by that one syllable response. Without fail, depending on which party you are faithful to, you will make the snap decision do you love them or hate them. This is such a simple topic with such a loaded gun. I am going to break down why this is such a telling tail (Sorry, I had to.) & why we judge automatically, & most of the time, accurately.

First, let’s look at the stereotypical cat person. They are people who lead more mellow lives. They do not like to be disturbed & are set in their ways. You will find that they have their things & they would prefer to not share. While some cat people may not like me saying this, they are the high maintenance crowd of the two parties. Cat people are more sensitive to their surroundings, so they need a buddy who will be there if they want to snuggle, but when they are done, c’est fini. This is why the independent, low maintenance feline is perfect for this kind of person. Hell, most of the time the cat is just as particular about when they can be disturbed as their owner, making them a match made in heaven; the high maintenance owner seems low maintenance to the high maintenance cat & the high maintenance cat appears low maintenance to the high maintenance owner. It is a win-win relationship. I admire cat people for having the strength to know what they like & they stick to their guns. I say bravo to you cat people.

With that being said, I am a dog person. When comparing the cat owner to the dog owner, well it is like comparing cats & dogs. They are spontaneous, messy & go with the flow. When they get a big wet kiss from their energetic pup, they normally respond with something like “Thanks for the smooch pooch!” & if they get a sneak attack of leaps & licks the bond between man & dog only becomes more solidified. Now that I have had my beagle, Hank, for the three months, I can say first hand that a dog is high maintenance requiring the owner to be low maintenance, & unlike the relationship between cat & owner the favor is not returned. I have had to change my entire routine to accommodate Hank’s needs. Instead of sleeping in, I usually get up at 7 to the sound of Hank’s wagging tail on the carpet. Before I can make myself presentable to the outside world, I am being dragged out the door so he can do his “business”, AKA poop. While cat people stick to their guns, dog people have to be more flexible. With this being said, we feel that this is a minor sacrifice for our little buddies because when we want to go on a walk or when we need a friend, our dogs are first to step up to the task. I believe it is actually embedded into “our kind’s” DNA to crave the chaos & the never-ending show of the wagging tail. We just cannot get enough.

Before you think this is an observation limited to admirers of the Meows & Woofs, there is one more party that I will call the Yappers. It is the secret third party that will give a whole new perspective on the battle between the feline & canine lover, the small dog owner. I am not talking small as in a French bulldog or dachshund, I mean Pomeranian, “Tinker Bell” Chihuahua dog type. This kind of pet owner is a mutated hybrid between the cat person & dog person, or a dog person who is a hop & a skip away from being a cat person, if you will. They are the people who want to have someone always around to make them feel loved, but don’t want the slobber & inconvenience. Physical signs of these people are Ed Hardy shirts, super buff guys (limited to their upper body) or super skinny girls, Paris Hilton perfume & a $30,000 millionaire car like a Nissan 370Z Coup. When they walk their dog, they go to all extremes to ensure that their prince/princess is not “bothered” by someone else’s dog whom is obviously not worthy enough to exchange butt smells with their precious child. If their dog starts yapping at your dog, they look at you like your dog is out of line.

Now, I tell you cat & dog people alike, it is this small dog party that is the real enemy. We should stop dismissing each other & focus on the black horse candidate of the race, the Yappers. They are the one’s who are disturbing society’s happy balance between the hard standing & the easy going. While their dogs are precious, although at tad bitchy, it is them that we should be wary of; the middle of the road, confused souls who think that their dog is more than a dog & that they are more than mere human.

Yours,

DB

PS. I have nothing against the small dog breeds, I find them precious. It is just their misfortune that they attract such peculiar owners.