I say nay, men.

Since the beginning of civilized human interaction, men have ruled the world, whilst doting on the “lesser” female species. Chivalry was something men took pride in. Who could hold more doors, go on more dates & bust the best moves. With each of these gestures men use to think that they would get so lucky as to hold the hand of the “apple of their eye”. After 2 or 3 month, they would advance to necking. Finally, they would get down on one knee & ask the woman to do him the honor of being his wife.

Then feminism kicked in. Not the women suffrage feminist, but the “I can hold the door myself, ass hole” feminist. They have been on a mission since the 60’s to try & be treated as an equal. Thanks to their efforts, sexual harassment has greatly declined, there is such thing as “flex” hours & majority of women are now working & homemaking. With all of these great strides legally & financially, we forgot about one thing; respect. We have focused so much on becoming equals in the world logically speaking, that women have unknowingly taken chivalry to the garbage disposal, leaving men to believe that women are equal on paper & are as eager to have sex, so any chivalrous gesture is a waste of time. If a man buys a woman a drink, they interpret the acceptance of said drink to be the acceptance of a one-night bonk. It's kind of like when men keep tabs on beer with their buddies, but with women, instead of the receiver owing them a beer in return, they owe them at least a slip of the hand.

How many women out there thought they were having good conversation & drinks with someone, & then the guy became increasingly inappropriate & totally presumptuous, ultimately ruining the moment? It is just another battle in the war of the sexes. The mother’s of today’s douches failed because they were trying so hard to get guys to see that women are the same as men, they did not try to teach them that women deserve to be “wooed”. That they cannot just saddle up & dive-in without some foreplay. (No, it does not happen like in the movies. It takes much longer to generate a legitimate moan of genuine pleasure.) Men, fun fact; a random sending of flowers is way more likely to land you a successful night in the sack than two hours of grinding on the dance floor, not even making eye contact.

When I was single, this would happen all of the time. A guy would do one minor gesture, like get you into an “exclusive party” because he knew the host, but if you danced with another guy he would either give you the stink eye for the rest of the evening, or go as far as to have you kicked out. In the past 60 years, wooing has been disintegrated down to just a “w”, maybe not even that. Even worse, women are starting to believe that after 2 or 3 drinks bought at the bar they “owe” the guy. Ladies, if we are going to sleep with someone because they buy us things, shouldn’t we at least hold ourselves to the same value as a high-end hooker? If we do, the tool whom is trying to buy his way into your pants is looking at a cool 10 drinks each for you & 8 of your closest friends.

My favorite is that if a drink or a dance is rejected, boys will use any excuse to avoid the fact that a woman is not interested. I one time went to a bar when my fiancé and I were still just dating & a guy came up to me to chat. After a while he offered to buy me a drink. I said I would love one, but before he does, he should know that I have a boyfriend. Instead of saying, “Thanks for the heads up, I think I will invest my money elsewhere,” he spitted “I’m not hitting on you.” Already having dealt with this a few times in the past I asked him, “I don’t get it. Guys get huffy if you don’t tell them from the start, but if you say you have a boyfriend off the bat they get defensive & try to act like they were not on a mission to hump. So which should I do?” Realizing how contradicting his behavior was, he accepted my reasoning & thanked me for not wasting his time. Do we really have to lecture each guy about why it is our prerogative to reject them, because their mother skipped over that lesson in life?

Women deserve to have the same career opportunities; men & women should be dealt with the same way, & employers should try to accommodate the uterus by giving us the necessary resources to accomplish work & family life. With that being said, we should also have the same opportunities to accept kind gestures without having to bend over. If a woman says no, there are only juvenile reasons for a man to question or condescend in response.

Dear men, I say nay to your half-assed advancements. Deal with it.

Yours,

DB